


please

by whatsanaccounttoagod



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Not Shippy, Suicide Attempt, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 06:17:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15479460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatsanaccounttoagod/pseuds/whatsanaccounttoagod
Summary: Aunt May dies. Peter blames himself.





	please

**Author's Note:**

> this was almost all vent-writing so it's probably ooc and weirdly formatted sorry about that
> 
> please read the tags

Peter hung up and stormed out of the room.

"Peter?" Tony called after him, following.

"I need some space. I'm heading out."

He decided not to try to force the kid to stay in and risk angering him more. Sometimes it was necessary to burn off steam, and he knew Peter was usually responsible.

Peter, on the other hand, fumed as he flopped on the bed. It took a surprisingly small amount of time to modify his phone's code to be less traceable than before (and while he would rather be completely untraceable, he didn't need to drag Ned into his anger). It wasn't that he thought Mr. Stark couldn't trace him; he guessed unless Karen sent an alert, he simply wouldn't. That was part of why he opted for one of his new suits rather than the low-tech goggles and hoodie. The other part was his need for consolation. After shoving a few things into his backpack, he went for the window.

"Patrolling in your current state is unwise," FRIDAY stated.

"I need space. Look, I'm even taking Karen. Just let me go." He needed to do something.

"I cannot let you do that."

The window locks clicked as Peter leapt for them. He cursed and simply banged against the glass for a moment. "Made to withstand super-strength?"

"You are correct, Peter. If you wouldn't likely break your fist doing so, I would invite you to continue trying."

He simply stared, looking for the weakest spot. After a few minutes, he backed up and performed a flying kick into the window. It cracked and tried to repair itself. A couple more kicks put a Peter-sized hole in the window, and he slipped out before the AI could protest.

 

Rather than fighting crime, Spider-Man perched on his apartment building. It was a quiet night, anyway.

"It's not your fault, Peter." Of course Karen figured out Aunt May died. He'd lived with Mr. Stark for weeks as they waited for better news, constantly scanning police radios and hospital records. Last he'd heard, she was in a hospital bed because of a drunk driver. An accident waiting to happen.

They predicted a full recovery. They didn't predict the power surge that took out her oxygen machine and left her to suffocate.

"I should've saved her," Peter whispered. He dug around for a water and found himself faced with a rattling container.

A decision.

He didn't deserve to live.

"You can't save everyone, Peter."

"Why not?" He lifted the mask just enough to expose his mouth. "It shouldn't be just the lucky ones. Everyone deserves a chance."

"You're one person."

_One._

He swallowed it dry. "So is Mr. Stark."

 _Two_.

"Peter, stop."

 _Three_.

"Don't do this."

"Why not? All I do is cause problems." He was responsible for countless deaths already. Supervillain types only showed up because of him. People wouldn't need to fear anymore.

Karen hesitated as if she was a real person. "What about Christmas with Mr. Stark? Or the dinners with the Avengers? What's the next Star Wars movie going to be? How many more lives can you help? The little things matter. You may not have helped everyone, but you helped enough people to make a difference."

He downed the bottle. "I couldn't even save my family."

They wouldn't kill him. He'd just sleep it off. Right?

 

"Kid? Peter? Oh, God. Karen?"

"He's currently conscious, though I am unsure for how long he will remain so. He was unconscious for about seven minutes previously."

"Peter!" someone yelled. Something shifted a few feet away, and footsteps clattered across the roof. "Peter, oh, fuck, stay with me. Come on, talk to me, kid. What are you- what did you do?"

"Lemme sleep it off…" Peter muttered. God, couldn't he have a few minutes of peace?

"You- you won't sleep it off. Stay with me, Underoos." Metal shifted again, and he was lifted gently off the ground.

Sleep sounded nicer.

The wind from the flight back was cold yet comforting, and the heat from the arc reactor compensated for the extra chill. Or maybe that was his suit. Maybe both.

"Mr. Stark, Peter is losing consciousness."

"Shit! Kid! Peter…"

 

"I… I heard." Tony bit his lip. "You blamed yourself, didn't you?"

Peter didn't respond… not that he was expected to.

"It's not your fault. You aren't the cause of all problems." He turned to try to gain his composure. "When I said I wanted you to be better?... I always thought you were, kid." His voice cracked. "I care about you, Peter. Please wake up."

Peter remained unresponsive.

"FRIDAY, can we clear his room of-"

"Already handled it," Pepper interrupted from the doorway. "No more enhanced-strength meds." She crossed the room and sat next to Tony. "Is he gonna make it?" she whispered.

Peter squeezed Tony's hand.

"Something tells me he will."

 

"I heard you," Peter blurted after what seemed like hours of silence. The lab was usually filled with excited chatter when he was around, but Tony didn't want to push him.

He raised an eyebrow. "Come again?"

"When you were talking to me and thought I was asleep. I wasn't."

"Yeah?" Tony pointed to a wrench on the other side of Peter. "Slide that over."

He set it down between them. "Sorry."

"For what?" Tony picked it up and continued working.

Peter gestured vaguely.

"...None of that was your fault."

"But I worried you."

"You say that as though I wouldn't be worried anyway."

"And I'm just squatting in your… tower?"

"I don't mind. It's not like there's anyone else using most of the rooms."

"And-"

Tony sighed and turned to Peter. "You aren't a burden, or a problem, or whatever else you can come up with. You're a good kid. Smart. Yeah, you're dense, but I'd be a damn hypocrite if I held that against you. I care about you, Peter. You're part of our family if you want to be."

"Okay, Grandpa," he teased with a shit-eating grin.

"You little- I'm not that old!"

Peter laughed as he leaned away from Tony's shaking fist. He and Pepper wouldn't replace May and Ben, but they'd certainly do their best to make the rest of his life enjoyable.

For now, that seems like a very long time.

**Author's Note:**

> this isnt a normal suicide attempt description (if any can really be called normal). it wasnt that he wanted to die, he was just frustrated at himself and of course we're our own worst critics so it just kinda happened ¯\\_(ツ)_/ ¯
> 
> please if you're feeling suicidal call your local suicide hotline, theres a list here of a few: <http://codedredalert.tumblr.com/post/109005732295/helpline-masterlist/amp>


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